Ventilation system.

I would like to vent some of my frustration and stress. And this is just about the only place for me to do it.

Frustration=anger. This is the last time I am going to talk about this. But, I am going to get it all out. It may not be pretty. I might explode.
I am so utterly, and entirely PISSED at Bryan. And myself. It’s like, even though we are broken up, he still expects to do what he wants.
I am sick of his pity party. I am sick of his lies. I am sick of his bull.
Do NOT tell everyone it was all my fault. Do NOT tell everyone I broke up with you. Do NOT lie about me. Do NOT expect me to be you friend.
It was MY fault when you lost you position as youth intern, because I looked at your email. Well, guess what? If YOU hadn’t been SOLICITING MEN ON CRAIGSLIST, there wouldn’t have been anything to find!! How do you not get the fact that you HAD to be removed from your position? You were going to camps with young boys, staying in rooms with them. Not to mention, the pastors couldn’t risk having you on staff, when you were doing that. And do NOT tell me that you did it because you were sooooo scared of your LOVE for me. BULL! That’s not love. Love wouldn’t do that. You cheated on me. You lied to me, and you cheated on me. It was your decision, not mine. Do not blame it on me. Take responsibility for it.

Oh, and what about DTS? You were never accepted. You never even submitted the application. But you found nothing wrong with telling everyone you were accepted, and then raising money for your trip. And then spending that money on other things, NOT MISSION RELATED. Oh, and what about the fact that the pastors had forbidden you from raising money within the church? You cheated both the church and Beth out of money. That makes me sick to my stomach.

Oh, and counseling? How you were “ok after one session?” Yeah. He has a four session minimum. Nice try.

Don’t expect me to be nice. Don’t expect me to be your friend. I’m not a doormat. And I sure as hell am not going to keep my mouth shut. If ANYONE asks me what happened, I will tell them. I am done lying to people about it.
If you didn’t want them to know, you shouldn’t have done it.

And on a side note, if Dyame had called me a female dog, or done half the crap you’ve pulled in the past month, I would have a hard time being her friend.
But, unlike you, Dyame wouldn’t do that.
Do I hate you? No. Am I pissed? Yes. Will I ever trust you again, or even want to talk to you again? Not likely.

Stress=my life.

I feel as if my life is so far off track, I won’t ever get it back to where it is supposed to be. It is frustrating to say the least. I don’t know what to do about school. I am in debt. For stupid things.

It sucks.

I think I have vented enough. Sorry guys.